All The Quotes You Should Be Stealing From The ‘Silicon Valley’ Season Premiere

UPROXX

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In the chaos leading up to the Game of Thrones season 5 premiere, many of you may not have realized that another great HBO show returned on Sunday. Mike Judge’s Silicon Valley is back for season 2, and so far it’s even geekier and more hilarious than the last. Here are some essential Silicon Valley quotes from the premiere for you to throw at your friends. Or enemies. Really, most of ’em work either way.

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Once again it looks like Erlich Bachman’s going to be churning out golden filth for us all season.

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His best line since “You just brought piss to a sh*t fight!”

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Richard Hendriks is the anti-Erlich but at least he’s confident enough now to speak up, even if he mangles everything he tries to say.

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The start of Erlich’s funding neg campaign. He only gets more offensive from there.

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Gavin Belson is the one surviving tech God this season, and…

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How MIT Students Won $8 Million in the Massachusetts Lottery

NewsFeed

Maybe Uncle Ben was right: With great power comes great responsibility. While most students at the famed Massachusetts Institute of Technology use their powers for good — for example, creating drugs that can fight any virus — others are busily using their prodigious math skills to game the state of Massachusetts’ lottery system, earning millions of dollars in the process.

Several years ago, while doing research for a school project, a group of MIT students realized that, for a few days every three months or so, the most reliably lucrative lottery game in the country was Massachusetts’ Cash WinFall, because of a quirk in the way a jackpot was broken down into smaller prizes if there was no big winner. The math whizzes quickly discovered that buying about $100,000 in Cash WinFall tickets on those days would virtually guarantee success. Buying $600,000 worth of tickets would bring a 15%–20% return…

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Watch John Oliver’s Rematch With FIFA On Last Week Tonight

TIME

Last Week Tonight was off the air last weekend, which gave its writers plenty of time to write a blistering takedown of one of their favorite subjects: FIFA.

While John Oliver’s staff undoubtedly had a different episode planned for Sunday, on Wednesday the United States Department of Justice unleashed a 47-count indictment that charged nine officials at the soccer body and five sports marketing executives with racketing, wire fraud and money-laundering. In the wake of the scandal, Oliver could not resist taking another poke at FIFA, a.k.a. “the organization that sounds the most like the name of a purse dog.”

Oliver’s dislike for the organization is well-established after he slammed them on an episode before last year’s World Cup. (You can—and should— watch the episode here.)

The HBO host could barely contain his glee as he discussed the scandal and encouraged the audience to read the actual FIFA indictment…

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